College Life
1. School ------- Yaadein
2. Principal ------ Jaani Dushman
3. Classes ------- Kabhi Kabhi
4. Canteen------- Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
5. Home Work -------- Godzilla
6. Exams -------- Kalyug
7. Examination Hall---- Chamber of Secret
8. Exam-Time ---------- Qayamat Se Qayamt Tak
9. Question Paper --------- Paheli
10. Answer Paper ---------- Kora Kagaz
11. Cheating ---------- Aksar / Chupke Chupke
12. Paper Out ---------- Plan
13. Examiner ------------- The Killer
14. Last Exam ----------- Independence Day
15. Paper Correction --------- Andha Kanoon
16. Marks ----------- Assambhav
17. Result ----------- Murder
18. Pass ------------ Ajjoba/ Chamatkar
19. Fail ----------- Devdas
20. Supplementary ------- Aakhri Raasta
21. Vacation ------------- Waah Life Ho To Aisi
2. Principal ------ Jaani Dushman
3. Classes ------- Kabhi Kabhi
4. Canteen------- Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
5. Home Work -------- Godzilla
6. Exams -------- Kalyug
7. Examination Hall---- Chamber of Secret
8. Exam-Time ---------- Qayamat Se Qayamt Tak
9. Question Paper --------- Paheli
10. Answer Paper ---------- Kora Kagaz
11. Cheating ---------- Aksar / Chupke Chupke
12. Paper Out ---------- Plan
13. Examiner ------------- The Killer
14. Last Exam ----------- Independence Day
15. Paper Correction --------- Andha Kanoon
16. Marks ----------- Assambhav
17. Result ----------- Murder
18. Pass ------------ Ajjoba/ Chamatkar
19. Fail ----------- Devdas
20. Supplementary ------- Aakhri Raasta
21. Vacation ------------- Waah Life Ho To Aisi
A THOUCHING LOVE STORY
"A touching love story
10th Grade:-
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it.
After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade:-
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears,
! mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over
because she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As ...
i sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips,
she decided to go home. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her,
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year:-
One fine day she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said,
"he’s not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'. So we did.
That night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
! Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation:-
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend,
thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage:-
Now I sit in the pews of the temple. That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it. But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death:-
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend' he read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
'I stare at him wishing he was mine,
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it.
I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried. ..............
MORAL OF THE STORY:-
Never be afraid to tell some1 you love the .........
10th Grade:-
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it.
After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade:-
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears,
! mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over
because she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As ...
i sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips,
she decided to go home. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her,
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year:-
One fine day she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said,
"he’s not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'. So we did.
That night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
! Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation:-
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend,
thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage:-
Now I sit in the pews of the temple. That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it. But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death:-
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend' he read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
'I stare at him wishing he was mine,
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it.
I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried. ..............
MORAL OF THE STORY:-
Never be afraid to tell some1 you love the .........
Price of Petrol in India
आपण जे पेट्रोल खरेदी करतो त्याची खरी किंमत कशी ठरते असा प्रश्न सर्वांना पडला असतो. यासाठी साधं गणित आहे. आपण यापूर्वीच्या किंमतीचा आधार घेऊन या गणिताचा विचार करून या. आंतरराष्ट्रीय बाजारातील कच्च्या तेलाच्या किंमत प्रति बॅरलला ११२.५ डॉलर इतकी होती. याचे रुपयांत रुपांतर केले तर ५ हजार ८५ रुपये प्रति बॅरलला दिले जाते. एका बॅरलमध्ये साधारणतः १५८.७६ लीटर कच्चे तेल असते. त्यामुळे एका लीटरला ३२ रुपये कच्च्या तेलासाठी दिले जातात. या ३२ रुपयांमध्ये कच्च्या तेलाच्या शुद्धीकरणाचा खर्च मिळविला जातो. तो लीटरमागे ५२ पैसे असतो. पेट्रोलच्या किंमती ६ रुपये भांडवली खर्च मिळविला जातो. तसेच वाहतुकीचे ६ रुपये मिळवले जातात. हे सर्व एकत्र केल्यावर पेट्रोलची किंमत ४५ रुपये ६० पैसे होते. परंतु,या होणाऱ्या वाढीपूर्वी आपण ४५ रुपये ६० पैशांचे पेट्रोल पुण्यात ७१ रुपये ३५ पैसे, मुंबईत ६८ रुपये ३० पैसे, दिल्ली ६३ रुपये ४० पैशांना तर बंगळुरूमध्ये ७१ रुपयांना विकत घेतो.
पेट्रोलची खरी किंमत ४५ रुपयांच्या आसपास असताना आपण इतके का महाग पेट्रोल खरेदी करतो. तर त्याचे उत्तर आहे कर म्हणजे टॅक्स. आपल्यापैकी बऱ्याच लोकांना माहित नाही की पेट्रोलच्या किरकोळ बाजारातील किंमतीवर मोठ्या प्रमाणात केंद्र आणि राज्य सरकारांचे कर लादले जातात. काही काही राज्यात हे ५० टक्क्यांपर्यंत आहेत. हे कर पेट्रोलच्या मूळ किंमतीवर लादले जातात. पेट्रोलची मूळ किंमत वाढ 54;ी की करही त्या प्रमाणात वाढतो. यामुळे सरकारच्या खजिन्यात आपोआप पैसा पडतो. सध्या केंद्राकडून लीटरमागे ६ रुपये ३५ रुपये हा व्हॅट आकारला जातो. तसेच ६ रुपये प्रती लीटर विशेष अतिरिक्त अबकारी कर, अतिरिक्त अबकारी कर म्हणून २ रुपये प्रति लीटर आकारले जाते. एकूण केंद्राकडून १४ रुपये ३५ रुपये आकारले जातात.
या संदर्भात आपण पेट्रोलची किंमत ५८ रुपये ९० पैसे असतानाचं गणित पाहू या.
पेट्रोलची मूळ किंमत – २८.९३ रु.
अबकारी कर – १४.३५ रु.
शिक्षण कर – ४३ रु.
डिलर कमिशन – १.०५ रु.
व्हॅट – ५.५० रु.
क्रुड ऑइल कस्टम ड्युटी – १.१० रु.
पेट्रोलवरील कस्टम ड्युटी – १.५४ रु.
वाहतूक खर्च - ६ रु.
एकूण – ५८.९० रु.
यावरून जेव्हा पेट्रोलची मूळ किंमत २८.९३ रुपये असल्यावर त्यावर आपल्या २३.९७ रुपये अतिरिक्त करापोटी मोजावे लागतात.
पेट्रोलची खरी किंमत ४५ रुपयांच्या आसपास असताना आपण इतके का महाग पेट्रोल खरेदी करतो. तर त्याचे उत्तर आहे कर म्हणजे टॅक्स. आपल्यापैकी बऱ्याच लोकांना माहित नाही की पेट्रोलच्या किरकोळ बाजारातील किंमतीवर मोठ्या प्रमाणात केंद्र आणि राज्य सरकारांचे कर लादले जातात. काही काही राज्यात हे ५० टक्क्यांपर्यंत आहेत. हे कर पेट्रोलच्या मूळ किंमतीवर लादले जातात. पेट्रोलची मूळ किंमत वाढ 54;ी की करही त्या प्रमाणात वाढतो. यामुळे सरकारच्या खजिन्यात आपोआप पैसा पडतो. सध्या केंद्राकडून लीटरमागे ६ रुपये ३५ रुपये हा व्हॅट आकारला जातो. तसेच ६ रुपये प्रती लीटर विशेष अतिरिक्त अबकारी कर, अतिरिक्त अबकारी कर म्हणून २ रुपये प्रति लीटर आकारले जाते. एकूण केंद्राकडून १४ रुपये ३५ रुपये आकारले जातात.
या संदर्भात आपण पेट्रोलची किंमत ५८ रुपये ९० पैसे असतानाचं गणित पाहू या.
पेट्रोलची मूळ किंमत – २८.९३ रु.
अबकारी कर – १४.३५ रु.
शिक्षण कर – ४३ रु.
डिलर कमिशन – १.०५ रु.
व्हॅट – ५.५० रु.
क्रुड ऑइल कस्टम ड्युटी – १.१० रु.
पेट्रोलवरील कस्टम ड्युटी – १.५४ रु.
वाहतूक खर्च - ६ रु.
एकूण – ५८.९० रु.
यावरून जेव्हा पेट्रोलची मूळ किंमत २८.९३ रुपये असल्यावर त्यावर आपल्या २३.९७ रुपये अतिरिक्त करापोटी मोजावे लागतात.
Technical Poem
Jo sadiyaon se hota aaya hai
Woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey
Ctrl+Alt+delete kar doonga...
Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain
Aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh
READ-ONLY hain...
Shayad mere pyar ko taste
karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya
ke PASTE karna bhool gaye...
Tumhare samne hain itney items
kabhi hame bhi pick karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe
kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo...
Roz subha hum karte hai
itne pyar se unhe good morning...
woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain
jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS...
Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse!
Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!
Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if"
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated .gif
Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't likeyour face
Par dil ke computer mein, nahin hai enough disk space
Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, ho jaata hai server down
Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, create main karoonga
Tum usay debug karna, wait main karoonga
Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya
Kya chaal hai tumhaari, jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, aao karein chat
Tum jabse meri zindagi mein, aayi ho banke female
Yaad raha na ab kuch, na postman, na e-Mail...
Do you have a Girlfriend? [Interview]
Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of you.
Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider. This personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.
Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.
Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper" ! (Job hoper lah!)
Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.
Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
